Posted by: the queen | August 13, 2009

slept after watching 10 mins of shopgirl, with my laptop running (bittorrenting) next to me, missing my night time ritual (which, in my book, is a disaster to start the day with.)

luckily, not going to school today. So I have a few hours to chillax…i’m supposed to run some errands. don’t know if i still wanna do it. cos I miss my bedroom. no really, you know you miss your bedroom when you do. you know you’ve not been in it enough.

woke up at the beautiful hour of just before 11…a sure sign of exhaustion again, altho’ of course, it can’t beat monday’s 2-something. when you spendyour days trudging around campus doing particularly nothing and then head off to teach, every single day, you really tend to feel like you want to die by the time night rolls around, and you can’t summon enough energy to even eat dinner, or even to …do anything.

oh, how many times have i felt like i wanted to die. or was going to, out of pure exhaustion.

but there are times worth living for. like desecrating the MJ tribute on campus (anyone can guess what I wrote in the book? :D), obsessing over the cute caucasians, and then when a whole gaggle of them comes through and nadiah goes “ha, tu, take your pick” and you choke and say “busuk! (stink, which they did!)”, and now I wonder, why do guys smell awful? I have a very sensitive nose. maybe it makes sense that my ex practically drowned himself in cologne.

but some guys don’t stink. I can think of a few. chong is one of them, he barely stinks, even after silat. he’s ever so kind to lend me his stuff for 3221. i love you my darling! in a very brotherly, platonic manner. even if you don’t wanna hang out with us anymore. and then he will go, zah2, you’re the one yang lari…

and…someone else whose smell just still remains in my mind. a secret about me is I can’t really remember what someone looks like. I mean this in a I can’t remember hte details of their face. no matter who they are. my closest friends, my family..because I don’t really look at faces. some times, all that’s in the face is a blur of eyes nose and teeth and I don’t know what the hell they look like. but him, I can remember. I can remember how exactly taller he is, and how his shoulders are shaped, and how he walks, and how he gestures.

and right now i’m trying to remember what phyllis looks like, and to my horror, it’s another blur.

maybe i’m senile.



  1. I thought you don’t bittorrent things.

    • shows you how desperate i was.

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