Posted by: the queen | September 5, 2009

feeling bad again

but not as bad as before my period. Then I think I really felt close to dying. Now I’m still quite exhausted but I feel okay-refreshed after sleeping, altho’ i did sleep the whole day and still felt exhausted by the time 11 pm rolled around. and there’s bloating and stuff but not so much, and I can get it out more than before. my stomach hurts at night, but not as much as before. since I was fine during my period, I guess it’s the fasting, which is worrying because fasting has never screwed me up before, but oh well, I guess I’ll just pray very hard. I must have some hell of toxins to remove from my body.

and on that note, I have really no appetite. I think I”m going to reach 40 kg at this rate. without trying. my last count was 45.2, or something..I’ve never yet reached 47 to my knowledge, but it’s not like I minded, in my opinion it’s still quite healthy. after all, it’s not about the numbers, it’s about your health. but anyway, today my favourite dish udang masak lemak suddenly made me feel sick. I’ve always hated it with nenas so maybe that’s a factor, but I could barely stand the smell. My nose has always been sensitive, but I’m becoming more and more sensitive to bau hamis (the seafood smell) and I really feel like throwing up sometimes. so I load up on the veggies instead. i think i might seriously go vegan. but when I think about my favourites like the indon ayam panggang, I find that I still feel like I want to eat…my mom’s rendang also I’d like to eat…so I guess it just has to be something savoury.

but I signed up for no-meat thursdays, for the environment. well, I have a lot of no-meat days, actually..but when you say no-meat, does that include like, fish? cos fish isn’t part of the rearing industry, is it? but well, I’ll try not to eat meat outside on thursdays. i don’t have a say at home.


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